Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
