sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
