maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
