No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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