maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
