I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have demons in me.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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