Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
