My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
