so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
you made out with another girl for some wings
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
