Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
