I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
