happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Boobs are out for the taking
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
