Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
