WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
