Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
