i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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