can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
