..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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