Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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