Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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