I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
