okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
