she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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