You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
