only you would photoshop your dick
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
