he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
