shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
