She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
