I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize