I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I would fuck him just for his dog
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
