LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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