I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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