just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
