Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
did i walk over a car last night?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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