I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
