Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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