She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The best revenge is premature balding
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
