Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
