its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
