My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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