Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
