I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
