babies were throwing up all over the place
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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