she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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