i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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