So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
