Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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