she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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