I wish life had little blips of pornography
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
