going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
