Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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