You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
