You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
