We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
